the v e n t


Authors' Writings

About Me

Jack and the stock market

Jack and the stock market

Once upon a time, in a land, far, far away, there lived a boy. His name was Jack. He lived with his mother in a tumbledown old cottage, near an old farm. They were so poor they could hardly afford fried chicken, and the landlord was threatening to kick them out if they couldn't pay the rent. They had sold everything, except for their cottage and an old cow named 'Milky'.
One day, Jack's mother said, "Take Milky to town and sell her for money. I must have some fried chicken NOW!" So Jack took Milky to town to sell her, but he couldn't find anyone to buy the old cow. After searching for nearly an hour, Jack came across an old man. He wore a sad smile, and he spoke a sad speech. He said, "Boy, if you want to sell that cow, I could make you a deal."
Jack asked "What would you buy it for?", and the old man replied "I don't have much in the way of money, but no-one else will buy that old cow here. I will pay you as best I can." So Jack handed over the cow, and the man passed over 3 Woolworths shares. After giving the man his thanks, Jack turned along home.
His mother was not pleased. She cried and she yelled and she crowed and she screeched herself blue. "WHAT?! I WANTED FRIED CHICKEN, AND YOU COME HOME WITH WOOLWORTHS SHARES?! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE STOCK PRICES? WOOLWORTHS SHARES ARE ALMOST WORTHLESS!!"
Jack and his mother cried themselves to sleep, but they didn't expect what was to happen.
Far away, in a tall, tall building, a number of men in clean, white suits seated at a table, were having a conversation, all with huge grins on their faces.
"Wow, I didn't expect us to make THAT much money with our new product!"
"I can't believe it. A million units in each store all over the world, and all sold at top price!"
Over night, the economy crept higher and higher, and in the morning, Jack and his mother were woken by the ringing of a doorbell. A man cried through the lock, "Dividend payments!"
A bleary eyed Jack opened the door. A man in an expensive suit was standing behind a truck, which to Jack's shock was filled with gold! "Your three shares, at four quadrillion nine hundred and thirty-eight dollars, grants you a dividend of one percent that. You might as well keep the truck, it's value is only a rounding error compared to what you've got now. Goodbye!"
And Jack and his mother lived happily ever after, eating fried chicked and recieving juggernaut dividends each year.

The End

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